Best Damned Days of My Life!

 

USS Oriskany CVA34

USS Longbeach CGN9

From "Dan The Navy Man"

There were some sailors who were known for their alcohol, womanizing behavior, chronic gambling and on their best days full of wonderfully colorful language.  Probably the last people you’d look to for advice on life.  We got paid for shit sometimes with for the worst jobs on the planet that could push a fella deeper into his alcohol fueled despair making for one hell of a complainer.  How many times had Jack Tar woken up on the floor passed out from the night before in his own puke and pissed stained skivvies!

Yet despite all of the misery, we can look back and say …

“Those were the best damned days of my life!”

When we reverse the tape of our old crusty analog minds we realize how much we perceived the civilian world to be everything we lacked in life. It was like a laser-pointer focusing in on the very things we wished to be but weren’t and the things we missed from home like that “Suzie Rotten-Crotch” who wrote you that “Dear John” letter and made you regret what you no longer had.  This fixation of growing out your hair and no longer being owned by the man onlger hay served to remind us of what we wanted but didn’t have … what we dreamed to be but were not.  The world constantly reminds us through commercial advertisement of what we should be and what we are not and why we should give a flying ‘fuck!’

Ironically back in the day, these fellas made the finest shipmates who taught us some of the most valuable lessons in life.  I think it’s something missed in today’s Canoe Club Cabaret.  It seems everyone is too busy trying to 'cover their ass to make the next rank.’  There seems to be no more risk taking, and everyone is bitching about losing internet connectivity while underway … or the “A/C” is too cold … the ice cream machine is broken again … or I can’t get my nails done if we’re going to be underway for two weeks! You old farts think I’m shitting you? Check out one of these new fan-dangled Twenty-First Century ships our shipmates serve on today and you’ll wonder why the hell anyone’s got anything to complain about!

Our old salts slept in hammocks and cots back in the day with no A/C and no privacy … we slept in cramped berthings with little to no privacy and rarely any A/C on old Frams, Knox & Adams class frigates and destroyers. If someone farted on the port side of berthing you could calculate how long it took to reach you on the starboard side! Nowadays they got rack curtains as thick as cowhide and personal fans in each secluded rack. Some even adjust to a 45 degree angle … I shit you not!!! 

I’ve been retired for ten years now, and I tell you I don’t think I could make it in today’s Navy! Today’s Canoe Club, one alcohol related incident can put away your career … FOR GOOD! It ain’t your Daddy’s Navy no more. Sailors just aren’t allowed to have fun.  I once stood duty while the ship’s company was having a “mandatory fun” function off base. The Command Duty Officer came in and brought us a couple of beers on the mess decks after we got off watch. He just wanted to make sure we got to enjoy some of the fun we were missing out on. You won’t see that in today’s “Kinder Gentler Navy!”

There used to be an old saying that slowly dissipated in the mid 1990s’ …

“What is said and done onboard stays onboard!”

I think “TP” Danaher was the last Skipper I heard use those words onboard the Lucky No. “7” and I appreciate it more today than I ever did back then. When I was an LPO, my Chief told me to “keep it inside the lifelines.”  If I can’t keep control of the Division and he has to come down and fix things then I’m not doing my job and don’t deserve to wear the anchors.  When the skipper defers his responsibilities outside the skin of the ship, I would think the same. But it seems that ain’t the case no more.

The ol’ Salt used to say …

“Go out and get a tattoo, raise some hell overseas, go to Skippy’s Mast, drink a lot of beer and enjoy your youth!”

That’s what I joined the Navy for!

They just don’t let sailors have fun anymore …